My 2015 SUMMER Reading List

Summertime means fewer meetings, tons of pool days, and plenty of travel time spent on planes, trains and automobiles…..which means a LOT more time to read. I love good books and summertime usually gives me enough downtime to knock several books off my “hope to read” list.  Few things paint a better picture of summer than a beat up, sunscreen stained, sandy book laying on a beach towel. Add in an umbrella drink and you have the makings of a PERFECT lazy summer day.

A lot of bloggers and websites that I follow have created a list of summer reading books that they have read and recommend.  I do things a bit differently. Last summer, I created a list of books I wanted to read and shared it on my blog. I am doing the same thing this year, making my own summer reading list - so please know that I can't sign off on whether or not these books are great. This is just a little personal blog and these are just books that sounded interesting to me -- so I make no promises about the quality of any of these books! I hope to do reviews of my favorites as the summer progresses, but I am not a critic or an English teacher, so take my opinions with a grain of salt please :)

I made a fairly long list so I have options….that way I am free to read whatever tickles my fancy that day, so long as I force myself to read a few nonfiction books before summer’s end, not just fun stuff. (I actually like a lot of nonfiction, but summer makes me want to only read the "fun stuff" all day!

This year’s list is a lot longer than last year’s (25 compared to 15) – and my goal is to read at least 15 (and hopefully 20) of the 25!! Here are some guidelines for my summer reading challenge:

1.    My “SUMMER” (for reading purposes) started mid May and ends one week after Labor Day, Sept. 14^th when we return from France. 
2.  My goal is to read at least 15 books before Fall. Last year, I successfully read 9 books (plus a few others that weren't on the list -- I got distracted!) The list is longer than last year’s list for SEVERAL reasons – (1) I researched more books I want to read; (2) we have access to a pool so I have more lazy Saturdays planned; (3) I have more time because I am not job searching (which I was still doing last May)OR starting a new job (which I was doing July and August last year); (4) longer commute allowing for more reading; (5) more travelling allowing for more reading time; and (6) By the time I actually had time to start this list, I had already finished 3 books and started on another so I only felt it fair to give myself a larger requirement than last year.
3.   I can pick what I want to read, but I must read at least 1 book from each category (well, and obviously ALL books from the “Book Club” category).

So, here’s what’s on my 2015 summer reading list:

Book Club Books 
AKA, Required Reading

The Stranger by Harlan Coben

This year, I joined a book club through the Jr. League. We read bestsellers which means we have read a variety of books - mystery, nonfiction, chick lit, etc. Fun and challenging books.  The book club is low key with no great attendance expectations and you are welcome to show up even if you haven't finished the book -- which was how I showed up last month, halfway through with this book! However, the first half had already grabbed my attention as it was suspenseful and actually, thought provoking, causing you to think about how even in happy suburban America, we all have secrets. (spoiler: I quickly finished the book the following week, so this is a summer reading book already crossed off my list!)

Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan (and *possibly* the sequel, China Rich Girlfriend)

This is another book club choice.  We voted to read a "beach read" or "chick lit" best seller for the month of June as many of us were travelling. This book is a fun read about incredibly rich Asian families and their secret lives and what happens when the son of one of these families (living in NYC) brings his American raised Chinese girlfriend home for the summer. You think old money southerners or NYC socialites can be snotty? These girls make Americans look tame. So far, I am enjoying this light funny easy to read book, so I may dive into the sequel when it comes out.

Home and Marriage
These are both categories that I am sure I could use some help!

The 7 principles for making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman

A blogger I read included this book on one of her old reading lists. At first I thought, boring, but then I realized that besides our small group marriage study book this winter, I haven't read many marriage books since we were engaged.  I want to always be investing in our relationship and feel this book could help me think about different ways to strengthen our bond.

Eight Twenty Eight by Larissa and Ian Murphy

I am sure you have all read about Ian and Larissa. I love this couple.  My heart breaks that their story is so rough, but I am so grateful that God is using their challenges to tell His story. I want to love like she loves. I want to trust like he trusts. There is so much to learn about marriage and life, in general, from this sweet couple.

A Beautiful Mess Happy Handmade Home by Elsie Larson and Emma Chapman

I loved Nesting Place last year. Read and reread it - and let it inspire me in decorating our apartment.  I would love some new "home" inspiration and I love the idea of doing a few crafts. This book gets amazing reviews and I am excited to dive in (and maybe even get my hands busy with a project!)

Southern Fiction
This Mississippi girl needs to read at least a couple southern books this 
summer to remind her heart of home.

Natchez Burning by Greg Iles

My husband is from the Natchez area, full of antebellum homes and charming southern streets right by the Mississippi River.  So, I am eager to dive into this thrilling mystery set in a town so dear to our hearts. (This is a repeat from last summer's list and I hope to check it of this summer)

The Right Thing by Amy Conner

This was also on my list last summer- but I never read it.  It's a coming of age story set in Jackson, MS.  I "came of age" in Jackson, MS (and later small town MS as well) so I should be able to relate! I love good southern fiction, but especially books that remind me of Mississippi.

My Sunshine Away by M.O. Walsh

I must admit, I had not heard of this book, but it was already downloaded on the family Kindle account. A little research revealed that this dark southern mystery, set in Louisiana, has received praise from Kathryn Stockett, author of one of my favorites, "The Help". Since the book is already paid for and on my Kindle -- and is very highly praised, I felt this would be a perfect addition to my list!

French Reads
I've got Paris on my mind, so I wanted to read a few French themed books this summer.

Sweet Life in Paris by David Lebovitz

This is also a repeat from last year's list and hopefully, this summer, I have a little more motivation to read this book since I will be making a Parisian get away in a few short months. Amazon described this book as "a deliciously funny, offbeat, and irreverent look at the city of lights, cheese, chocolate, and other confections." Sounds entertaining and yummy!

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

This seems to be the book everyone is talking about - and I have been dying to read it. The story follows a young Parisian girl who moves to St. Malo, France during WW2. Her path collides with a young German boy who lives in occupied France at the time. That's about all I know about the book but if so many people loved it so much, it must be good.  We are visiting Paris and Normandy in September, so I feel this will be a good book to get me ready for the trip.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

This is another highly acclaimed WW2 story set in France, but this book follows two sisters' relationship, challenges and courage.  I am eager to read this book which focuses on WW2 from a female perspective.

A Paris Apartment by Michelle Gable

This book involves a Sotheby's furniture specialist, an old Parisian apartment abandoned during WW2 and the stories of two different women from two different times. 

The Loveliest Chocolate Shop in Paris by Jenny Colgan 

This is pure chic lit, but at least it's British Chick Lit, so does that make me a little more high brow? A romance involving a chocolate shop and set in Paris-- seems like a perfect beach read!

General Fiction

The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan

This is a story of a non royal girl at Oxford who fall is in love with the future King of England....sound familiar??? 

Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty

This was a #1 NYT bestseller by Liane Moriarty, author of "What Alice Forgot" - one of my favorite books that I read last year.  Moriarty's works are both funny and a little dark - definitely causing you to think about things in a different way while you laugh. 

The Girl on a Train by Paula Hawkins

 This, along with "All the Light We Cannot See", is one of the books that everyone seems to be talking about these days.  Apparently, it's a dark thriller about a alcoholic woman who watches a couple she passes on her train route and then becomes entangled in their murder investigation. It's the new "Gone Girl" and people love it or hate it - I hope I love it!

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

A friend recommended this book and it sounds intriguing and sweet! From what I can tell, it's a book about a scientist who creates a scientific plan to find his wife and weed out non-matches. Rosie comes along and is not "wife material" but he is drawn to her (and her own quest to find her biological father).  He soon learns that love can't be discovered through a scientific plan.

Paper Towns by John Green

I am not usually a young adult fiction reading, but I really loved reading John Green's "The Fault in Our Stars" last summer so I decided to give his newest teen fiction book a shot. Plus, this is soon to be movie so I thought it would be great to read the book before seeing it on the big screen.

The Life Intended by Kristen Harmel

 This novel is about a young widow planning to walk down the aisle for a second time, but she is still haunted by dreams of her first husband. In her dreams, he leads her down a path that she could never have imagined.  This book is about fear of moving forward with life and letting go of the past - and who can't relate to that fear?

Blue Bistro by Elin Hilderbrand

Two years ago, I was new to DC and not working yet. I went on a run while Dave was at work and I locked myself out. Luckily, I had my cell phone and 10 dollars stuck in my pocket (meant for picking up coffee on the way back) so I went to Barnes and Noble, ordered lunch and read one of their books all afternoon!  The book ("Summer People") was by author Elin Hildebrand and is a beach read, but a bit more intense than your normal breezy chick lit. I have wanted to read another one of her books since then - so when I saw another blogger recommend this book, I decided that I should try it out!

Religious Reads

Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nabeel Quireshi

This is a book recommended by several members of our small group.  It is about a devout Muslim who discovers Christianity. I know so little about Islam - and although I am certain this book just skims the surface of the religion, I feel it will start to give me an understanding of the Muslim faith.

Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist

Last year, I read "Bread and Wine" as part of my summer reading list. Then, this spring, I read one of Shauna's other books, "Bittersweet" which I adored - one of those books that I read at the exact right moment.  Shauna writes in a unique way -- her chapters are meant to be read individually, but grouped together, you can tell the overall theme and story for that part of her life. You can tell how she grew as she wrote her book - and you grow with her. You can relate to each chapter because she so eloquently and correctly identifies feelings we all experience.  So, I am reading another one of her books, "Cold Tangerines" about the joys and extraordinary moments of everyday life.  Summertime - with its long hot days, afternoons by the pool, cookouts and travel plans - seems to be the perfect time to read about celebrating everyday moments.

Undone: A Story of Making Peace With an Unexpected Life

Not be be whiny, but I feel like one of those people whose life never goes quite as planned. For those of you whose life turned out pretty much like you hoped, then you probably don't relate - but I suspect most people feel a bit like I do: like sometimes no matter what you do, things fall apart or turn out differently than you wanted! Sometimes, these frustrations are redeemed. Sometimes the change in life's plans turns out to be better than I could have hoped.  I feel like this book will be one I relate to so much -- a book I cry and laugh and murmur "amen" throughout each chapter.

NonFiction

The Fringe Hours by Jessica N. Turner

 This book is about women finding time to pursue their passions.  I actually feel I have more free time than I have in years. I am out of school. I am not "job searching" and although my job is challenging, it only occasionally requires late nights. Plus, my social calendar is a bit less full than my single days. However, sometimes I feel I waste my time and that I don't know my passions.  People love and recommend this book, so I hope it encourages me to be more intentional with my time.  Best to learn that now, before kids and a house make my "me time" even less!

11 Principles of a Reagan Conservative by Dr. Paul Kengor

I love Reagan and I really enjoy politics -- ironically enough, I don't always enjoy political books. I think it's because I spent 3 years reading law books and now live in a place where politics is a huge topic of convo at every event. But, this book (from last year's list) seems practical, and clarifies what "being a Reagan conservative" really includes. 

**If you made it to the end of this long list, congrats!! Let me know if you have read any of these books and think I should move them to the top of my list. Also, what are you all reading this summer? **

Book Lovers: What are you reading this Summer?

Summer time is fast approaching - and I, for one, am incredibly excited!! Although summer is not nearly as fun now that I am an adult without a summer break, the next few months will include fewer meetings, a few sets of visitors, plenty of outdoor time, 2-3 vacations and lots of pool time. (side note: my body is nowhere near "pool ready" so I have no idea why I am excited by pool season.....)

But one of my favorite things about summer is that life slows down.  People are in and out of town. There are fewer meetings. August Recess can lead to a slow work month. Even Sunday School is cancelled. So, I have time for sleeping in, outdoor movies, happy hours, hikes, trying new recipes, exploring the city AND of course, a little more reading! I tend to read a decent amount throughout the year - BUT the warmer months give me the perfect excuse to curl up with a cocktail and a lounge chair and dive into some fun summer reads (or when really hot, an excuse to whole up inside with a book, soda and the air on full blast!)

Last year, I compiled a summer reading list based on recommendations from others. I read several of the books on that list -- and a few other books that I discovered along the way. I had an over 50 percent success rate - read 9 on my list, but 7 remain unread.  I got distracted by life - and other books that weren't listed! Here is a follow up on what I read and did not read from last year's summer list.

Books off last year's list that I read: A Praying Life, Divergent (actually, I read the whole series!), The Fault in Our Stars, Someday Someday Maybe, What Alice Forgot, Unbroken, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, Bread and Wine (followed by 2 other Shauna Niequist books later in the year), The Nesting Place

Books I did not read: One Thousand Gifts, Unglued,The Sweet Life in Paris, 11 Principles of  Reagan Conservative, I Am Mahala, The Right Thing, Natchez Burning

Memorial Day is this coming Monday -- unofficially kicking off the summer season, so I am starting to plan the books I want to read over the coming months. Some of last year's books might make the list again this year (in hopes that I read them!) But, I would love some additional suggestions!

I have two goals this summer with regards to reading: 1) Join the local library and 2) read 2/3's of the books on my list!

So, come on book lovers. I want all categories -- Christian books, Bestsellers, Thrillers, Political, fluffy chick lit! So give me all your suggestions!

What books have you read lately?
What books are your friends talking about?
What books made you laugh? think deeply? were pure fluff perfect for umbrella drinks and beach towels?

My First Time in Paris.....

Last week I shared how travel has been a great source of healing in my life over the years...but if I had to name one place that moved my heart in the biggest way, it would be Paris.

Paris was my first stop in my solo European backpacking trip. (Yes, almost 6 weeks dashing around Europe by myself. Some people dip their toes into foreign exploration with a week getaway, but I dove in head first!) The entire trip was a time of healing and a time to discover myself again....and that process began in Paris, a place I had spent years daydreaming about, reading about and longing to visit (thanks to the world's best french teacher).

Paris is a city you love or hate....I fall firmly in the "love" category.  And, honestly, although I can totally understand why Paris might not be everyone's #1 destination, I have a hard time comprehending why people hate this glimmering city of lights full of delicious sights and scents. It's such a large diverse city that there is something there for everyone!  But, I think the reason for "hate" is that Paris is too "common" for many experienced travelers. It's no longer "cool" to visit classic locations (which has partly led to my avoidance of London).  It's popular to go "off the beaten path" these days - to exotic locations, small unknown provincial towns, up and coming cities, etc. And, I totally understand that, I really do.  I, too, have visited some locations that aren't as well-known: Krakow, Poland; Colmar, France; Malawi; Zambia; Montserrat, Spain. It is thrilling to see areas that fewer have seen - and it gives you a chance to dive into culture in a more realistic, less touristy way by digging deep into daily beauty that is not perfectly packaged up for you.

But, just because you love seeing the less traveled places and fear the crowds at more popular destinations doesn't mean you should throw the bébé out with the bath water! Traditional European cities are often anything but boring! In fact, locations like Paris are classic because they stand the test of time. Paris is modern and chic but also full of old school charm. It is glamorous yet trendy, full of gourmet restaurants and cheap street food, a place to see an opera or cabaret, full of wealthy socialites and bohemian college students. It's history mixed with magic. Paris has so much character in each block that it's impossible to discover it all with one visit.

I first visited Paris when I was 23. I was jet-lagged, still recovering from law school exams and heartbroken-- and completely in awe.  One would think that a single woman travelling alone, recovering from a break up, would hate Paris and the "amour" it represents, but it was just the opposite -- I was in love with quaint buildings with iron balconies, the candles lit in centuries old churches, the bridges framing the Seine River, wondering aimlessly through galleries, quietly sitting in public parks, exploring side streets and different neighborhoods and of course, the crepes!! You see, before I ever fell in love with a man, I fell in love with Paris, with France, with the idea of international travel and cultures in general.  I have my amazing high school french teacher to thank for that obsession.(Excellent language teachers spread a love of the culture as well as a knowledge of the language) Stepping foot into this city of romance and love did not cause self-pity or sorrow or longing - instead, it was like finally meeting the pen pal lover you had been corresponding with for years. During my few days in Paris, I fell more in love with a city, a culture, a mindset and this love gave me a better view of myself and my circumstances.

With that first step onto a Parisian rue, I knew I would be a lifelong traveler (and I knew one of my favorite destinations would always be Paris because first loves remain with us forever).  I felt incredibly small in this big international world, yet strong and independent and open-minded. I was proud of myself for being the type of women who would dust her self off, sell her engagement ring and spend the profits venturing off on a journey by herself. I felt blessed for the opportunity to adventure solo and selfishly enjoy all the experiences I longed for. (Traveling alone means you don't have to balance itineraries and can spend your time soaking in the art, food, shopping and neighborhood strolls that interest you! --- says the woman whose permanent travel companion plans vacations around his favorite architects and their creations, so there's a little more compromising of itineraries now....)

Paris is certainly a city for lovers to experience, but let me assure you, it's also a wonderful place for those going it alone. Get lost exploring beautiful alleys, fill your belly with crepes and baguettes and fresh cheese (with no one there to judge you, I might add...), sit leisurely and read in a park without being hurried along, window shop (or actually shop), meander through famous museums and visit the sights you want to see!

Paris gave me back a piece of myself. Seeing the city of lights was something I always wanted to do -- and I did it, by myself. Checking Paris off my bucket list gave me a strange mix of pride and freedom and joy, all at once.

As I boarded a train to Barcelona and said my farewells to Paris, I remember praying, "The next time I come, let me come with someone special." Paris simultaneously helped renew my independence and foster hope. While wondering the streets of a romantic city, broken and bruised at love's expense, I could not help but remember the positive side of love.  Certainly it was worth the risk!

This September, I am returning with someone special.... Dave and I are making a week long trip to Paris. We both love traveling and experiencing cities and cultures together -- and although he has been to Europe twice, he has never been to France. This trip has been on our couple's bucket list -- going to Paris together - celebrating love and marriage and hope and survival (and architecture and food).

I can't wait! Holding hands as we stroll through quintessentially Parisian neighborhoods. Placing our lock on the famous Pont des Arts bridge. Sharing pastries and splitting bottles of wine and sitting in collective awe of the lights and beauty before us. Enjoying fine meals and taking a boat cruise and making too many visits to see the Eiffel tower all lit up. Stolen kisses and sweet words along the river. Taking the perfect Christmas card picture. (Okay, this is my view of our trip. If Dave were to tell you his vision for the trip, it would be "see lots of famous buildings and analyze every part of the building and discuss it -- with Katy"  What can I say, we view romance differently....)

But, I treasure the fact that my first visit to this incredible city was mine alone, without a husband, even without a friend alongside me. I found healing, hope and little pieces of myself -- and fell in love with a city - the history, lights, culture and yes, even the image and allure of what Paris represents. And now that I am so helplessly in love with Dave, I can't wait to share the city I love with the man I love.

How Travel Heals Us

When I was 22, I had my heart broken in the biggest of ways. A cancelled wedding, altered life plans, embarrassment and mourning for what I thought I had and who I thought I loved. Without a doubt, the year that followed was the darkest, most painful year of my life (so far, but you know, still lots of life to live, ha). It turns out that starting law school in the midst of grief and heartache may not be the best timing as I constantly felt waited down with studies, anxiety and loneliness.

What got me through this painful year, in this order: God, family and friends AND planning a trip to Europe (and then traveling to Europe!).

Backpacking trip, 2007

Yes, you read that right: ranked right behind my Lord and closest community, TRAVEL (and the year of planning leading up to travel) played the greatest role in my healing.  I spent the summer after college graduation dealing with the split, prepping for law school - and beginning to plan for a backpacking journey the next summer (which meant checking out European travel books at the local library, binge watching Samantha Brown's "Passport to Europe" on the travel channel AND drafting multiple "possible" schedules for my upcoming adventure) Throughout that first year of law school, especially the spring before the trip, I would sometimes take study breaks or spend Sunday afternoons doing research for my voyage. The planning provided me with a chance to balance grieving and stress with hope and excitement for the future. And the trip, itself, provided, much needed rest and celebration after surviving such a difficult year.

Niagara Falls, 2014

My European backpacking adventure was not my only encouraging time of travel. Other trips have also provided respite, change, rest and healing throughout my life.  A Disney trip with friends to kick off the start of law school. A second trip to Europe to celebrate after a year that included the bar exam, job searching and my first 6 months of working. A daddy-daughter journey to Arizona to watch my Auburn Tigers overcome years of adversity and finally win another National Championship.  A New Years Eve in Dallas trip with single ladies to celebrate friendship and freedom! A honeymoon getaway to SF and Napa with Dave after his stressful last year of architecture, his job search and our impending move. A late first anniversary trip to Canada after a first long hard year in a new place -- me looking for a job, adjusting to new jobs and married life and living far away from friends and family.

Europe with my friend, 2010

San Fran Honeymoon, 2013

Redwoods on Honeymoon, 2013

2010 National Champ Game in Arizona

Disney trip, 2006

The world is huge, full of  places and people so different than me! The size and diversity can be terrifying at times, making me feel small and inconsequential - but, it's often times when allowing myself to feel so tiny in God's big world full of wonderful experiences that I feel rested and rejuvenated, close to the Lord and others and encouraged to rejoice in spite of mourning! If we are willing to let it, travel can be a healing experience.

Malawi trip, 2009

Napa, 2013

Here are some of the ways that travel heals us:

(1) Travel distracts us.  

Perhaps the most obvious way that travel provides rest and healing is the reality that venturing to other places allows us to get away from our environment for awhile. We all need an escape from daily stresses and worries - and sometimes a change of scenery can provide a break from our struggles - or at the very least, a beautiful location with free time to slowly work through them!

(2) Travel (and planning for travel) reminds us that there are still good things to look forward to in our future. 

That summer after college, I needed something wonderful to look forward to, something good that I could daydream about and anticipate. Planning that adventure pointed my eyes forward and reminded me that good exciting things remained in my future. I came back from that trip, still limping, but with a little more confidence that my future still held many wonderful experiences, people and places.

(3) Travel gives us reason to celebrate!

Vacations give us an excuse to celebrate and live the good life: an extra glass of wine, ice cream at 3 pm just because, sleeping in, splurging on a new dress, a fancy dinner out with your spouse or best friend. Sure, splurging too much could be a bad thing, but a little indulgence can remind us that life is not all battles and schedules and work and diets and heartache. Occasionally when life has been hard or busy or stressful, what we need may be a weekend getaway with margaritas, a good book, rich desserts and lots of laughter. Travel reminds us that we have blessings and reasons to celebrate!

(4) Travel often gives us free time to think, pray, recover. 

Not all trips provide alone time. I recognize that some trips are romantic in nature or fun girls getaways. But, often, trips provide time to pray and wrestle through issues - whether it be during train rides across European countryside or a beach walk in Florida. Sometimes, my biggest lessons were learned and embraced while away from my home.  A change of scenery and schedule helped forge the way for a change of heart.

(5) Travel also gives us a chance to reconnect and enjoy fellowship. 

Sometimes, travel provides a chance of healing and recovery for groups of people - thus, the idea for family and marriage retreats!  Dave and I loved being able to get away to Canada last September and enjoying each other's company without our normal everyday distractions.  After surviving our first year of marriage and some unexpected stresses, it felt like a chance to celebrate, reconnect and escape. Girls getaways during my 20's often returned me home feeling loved and not alone. Sometimes we need to feel like we are a part of a team with people in our corner, cheering us on. Escaping to the beach with your girlfriends or New York with your husband can provide community and fellowship for tired lonely souls.

(6) Sometimes, travel can open our eyes to other's pain.

Travelling to places internationally and domestically - whether for pleasure or volunteer work - can open our eyes to pain and struggles across the world.  Seeing poverty and devastation should remind us of our blessings and motivate our hearts to serve in the same way Christ served us. Nothing leads to healing more than gratitude, and travel often opens our eyes to all we have received.

(7) Travel reminds us how small we are and how big God is.

When seeing the natural beauty of an ocean sunset or the historical loveliness of centuries-old cities, I can't help but feel awed (and slightly scared) by how tiny I am in this world. But, while praying in a monastery in Spain or wondering the busy streets of Manhattan or staring into the emerald shores of the Florida gulf, I realize that (1) I am not the first person to face whatever problems I currently face (whether it be balancing schedules or mourning a death or facing a breakup) and (2) I serve a God who is master of all these places.  We need to see the world and realize how inconsequential we might seem, to truly realize how powerful the One we serve is - that He cares about all the people in all these places, including us.  He commands the 7 seas and watches over the city that never sleeps and was the same God in ancient Rome as he is in 2015. He rules the whole world and all of time, yet He still sees and cares for me, a small town Mississippi girl, living in DC in the 21st century.  While travelling by train through European countrysides, still brokenhearted, that's what hit me the most: my tiny heart with it's worries, joy, stories, aches and pains mattered....and God saw and loved that heart, whether in Oxford, Mississippi or in Venice, Italy.

Safari with my sister, 2009

Dancing in FAO Schwarz, NYC, 2006

Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, NYC, 2014

Travel heals us. It gives us a chance to escape and reconnect with God, others and self.  It opens our eyes and reminds us of our blessings. It challenges us and encourages us and reminds us that life is worth celebrating.  Dave and I both agreed, early in marriage, that travel was a necessity for us - and that it was worth cutting money in other ways to ensure we could see the world. Last year, we went to the Smokies with his family and Canada on our own. This year, we venture to Florida for my family vacation and then Paris and Normandy for our own little getaway. And, just like the past, travel and the anticipation of travel help me walk through the hard times, mundane daily routine, and any disappointments life throws my way...because come June and September, I have the chance to celebrate and to enjoy beauty and fellowship and an escape from the norm. The truth is, every year will have its rough spots -- so each year, we will likely need an escape from some trial - whether to a nearby town or a foreign country - to reconnect, celebrate and heal.

Saying Yes to the Wait

Last week, I read this post (We Said "Yes" Too) about how we praise families for "saying yes" to all the children God will give them -but in reality, many men and women say yes to God and those babies don't come - or don't come quickly. The author pointed out how her home may not be "19 kids and counting" but she and her husband did say yes and continue to say yes to a home full of as many kids as He calls them to have. (Thanks Tiffany for sharing this article!)

The article hit home, not because I can even begin to empathize with this strong woman's many hard years of infertility struggles, but because the message of saying yes and then facing a period of waiting seems too often to be a theme in my own life.

We praise someone's courage when he or she boldly says yes to God's calling and nudges, but that praise often comes when these yeses are followed by quick action from God. We often see God's action as a clear indication of someone's willingness and obedience. (Joe said yes to God's calling and his ministry has now led thousands to the Lord.  Mary and John said yes to as many kids the Lord would give them and their home is filled with tiny footsteps constantly running around.  Anne said yes to purity, to dating with intention and seeking godly marriage, and a godly man snatched her up quickly!)

But, sometimes we feel called by the Lord, say yes and then actively wait and work and hope for response and movement that may takes years to come. And, those yeses aren't always celebrated, but they are just as valid.

In my own life, I have had times where I obeyed, where I willingly said yes -- and then, I waited. The answer may not have come quickly - but my willingness to say yes was no less valid.

Maybe you are saying yes too -- to callings, relationships, careers - and yet you face a time of waiting. You said yes to a house full of babies but your home and womb are still empty. You said yes to a godly marriage, to years of purity to honor both God and your future spouse, but your ring finger remains bare. You said yes to moving for a spouse's job, trusting God would open doors in response to your obedience, but yet you still look for a job. You said yes to ministry, sacrificing of yourself and maybe even moving to foreign countries - and yet the ministry does not grow and hearts remain unchanged.  You said yes to raising godly children to fear the Lord,to praying for them daily and teaching them God's words, yet your kids rebel.

Sometimes we say yes to God -- and nothing happens, at least nothing that we can see with our limited viewpoint. Sometimes we say yes to the wait. And, honestly, I think that is the braver yes....the one that is questioned by others (did God really call you to this city, this ministry, this life?) and sometimes even questioned by ourselves (is this really what He wanted?)

A yes to waiting, trusting and seeking joy amidst uncertainty.  A yes to future fulfilling of current longings and calling.  A yes to obeying even without seeing. A yes to vulnerability and hope and disappointment. A yes to change, growth and repentance. A yes to brokenness, struggle, surrender and pain during the wait. A yes to reminding yourself of God's goodness even when you do not feel it.

These are the harder yeses, the ones that must be said daily, the ones first entered into eagerly and boldly with such fervent hope and willingness --  and later quietly whispered under our breath, eyes full of tears, in submissive obedience as we fight to continue saying yes to things we yet see.

Keep saying yes to God's leading -- even if saying yes leads you first into the wilderness. The real boldness comes not just in saying yes, but in living in the times of waiting and uncertainty that may follow.

And while we are saying yes to the unanswered longings and callings placed on our hearts, God is saying yes to us -- to loving, providing and sustaining us; to hearing our broken prayers through sobs; to restoring hope and nurturing growth; to not wasting our times of waiting; and to giving us strength to continue saying yes to His will and His plans.

Feasting on Easter

obligatory Easter picture with Dave - this makes 4 Easters together

This Easter was wonderful.  Dave and I spend the 3 day weekend in Georgia with his family.  We all met at his sister's house and spent the holiday celebrating, fellowshipping and eating (lots of eating - thus why I am avoiding bread and hitting the gym this week). I spent time chasing nieces around, holding babies, having heart to hearts with my sweet sister in law, helping the kids hunt Easter eggs, taking neighborhood walks and cooking with the ladies. We devoured an Easter Feast on Saturday night: ham, tenderloin, macaroni and cheese, potato casserole, zucchini corn salad, sweet potatoes, green beans, chocolate cake, etc. We dove into the leftovers for Sunday lunch - and when I left Georgia, my stomach and heart were full. ( I have incredible in laws, by the way....I know this is not always the case, so I am extremely grateful)

Sisters and brother in law and 3 lovely nieces

This winter has been tough -- and more than I realized, my soul longed for Easter, for a chance to remember God's faithfulness to His people and his undeserved unending love and grace.

I've always loved Easter - a holiday to focus on rebirth and redemption, on hope and eternity, on freedom from our sin's damning consequences.  Our truth is that we are loved more than we could ever dare hope - so much so that our Lord would sacrifice His own beloved Son - just to wipe our slate clean. We have a future that extends far beyond the confines of our earthly timelines. We have eternal hope - but, sadly, my daily reality is not often centered on our future hope.

Lots of celebration with our nieces!

But, this spring, I am feasting on Easter (or at least trying really hard to feast!)  I am filling my soul to the brim with the all encompassing hope that will not disappoint. I am striving to believe the best and see this world through our Savior's eyes: broken but beautiful, needing a Savior in every moment, (whether seemingly inconsequential or life changing), inching closer to eternity and redemption.

our newest niece!

If I truly feasted on Easter, what would it look like in my daily life? 

If I feasted on Easter, every loss, every hardship, every pain would be heartbreaking, yet still illuminated by the promise of redemption.  Each broken moment would be a little less broken if I lived in the reality that the pieces would one day be put back together and whole in a way that I cannot even fathom in my present earthly state.  Each loss or hardship would be viewed from an eternal perspective - as a step towards heaven and a circumstance that will be redeemed for beautiful things either in this life or the next.

If I feasted on Easter, I would celebrate and laugh and soak up God's blessings with more awareness. All  joyful moments would point to heaven - a foreshadowing and foretaste of all good things to come.

Feasting on Easter would stir in my heart more forgiveness - both for others and myself.  I would live in awareness of my sin and need for grace - and display that same grace to others more often.  Kind words and gracious actions would flow from my heart and mouth.

If I truly feasted on Easter, then just like my body after a big holiday meal, my heart would be so stuffed full of hope that I could not imagine devouring one more morsel - yet still refusing to push my chair back from the table, still longing to eat just one more mouthful. I would sit at the table and greedily cram hope and blessing in, past the point of fullness.  I would return often, eagerly, expectantly. I would come to the table often, finding nourishment and fellowship, returning for more as often as I could.

If I feasted on Easter each day, then I would not live in fear.  I would wake up confident that no matter what the day held - whatever sin, failure - or even worse, "perceived failures" - my future remains secure - and I would go to sleep each evening, one step closer to a world of no tears, no war and only joy.  

If I truly feasted on Easter, then I would live each day aware that present situation is never the end to the story.  The battle is won! Death and sin are conquered.

If I truly feasted on Easter, it wouldn't be a holiday, just a way of living, my mindset during my daily journey - an eternal focus pointing towards to cross and towards the Savior daily. I would not need an Easter Sunday, because every day would be my celebration.

Oh, how I want to truly feast on Easter!! Lord, help us to live like it is Easter every day. Help us to see your glory, grace and forgiveness in all situations and all people. Help us to never lose sight of what our future holds because of the pain your past included.  Help us to feast on Easter daily.

Doesn't this melt your heart?