Thursday, October 15, 2015

October 15th

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day.  Tonight, at 7 pm, many will participate in remembrance ceremonies - and even more will light a candle at home in remembrance of their lost children.  There wasn't a big ceremony in my region - which makes me a bit sad as I never really had a memorial or service for our Baby R - and we will be at small group during the designated lighting time - but when I get home, I do plan on lighting a candle for our son or daughter and praising the Lord for all 12 weeks of that little life.

I also thought that in honor of this remembrance day, I would do a few blog posts on pregnancy loss- a topic I have been hesitant to touch upon - because it seems taboo and I am scared of judgment from others for "over-sharing."  Also, I don't want to suddenly take up "miscarriage" as my cause.  I have had enough causes in my life - and honestly, at the ripe ole age of 31, I want my causes to be Jesus and people. I want to share about miscarriage so that hurting women don't feel alone and so that others know how to respond - BUT, I also don't want to ever present miscarriage as the greatest loss one can face. Often times, when we take up a cause and demand so passionately that our hurts be noticed, we miss the many broken hearts surrounding us.  It's a broken world and you may not have experienced a miscarriage, but you might be facing divorce, unplanned singleness, illness, job loss, marriage problems, sick children, loneliness, discrimination, addiction, infertility, broken families and so many other painful situations. Let's see each other's deep hurts and not compete for which broken pieces of our lives deserve more attention.  And let's love each other through those hurts and help one another see Jesus through our tears.

So over the next week, I will talk about making it through a miscarriage and how to support and love someone going through pregnancy loss.

But, today, I just wanted to say: If you have lost a child recently (or in the past), my heart goes out to you.  You are a mother in every sense of the word and have every right to mourn.  Know that I see your pain and I hurt for you. Know that our Savior sees your pain too - and came, died and rose again so that you will one day never face such pain again!

Also, I feel like October 15th should celebrate all of those who have lost little lives or are waiting for little lives. If you have faced infertility, are in the long adoption waiting game, are longing for a husband and children, or feel your chance at children has passed, you are in my heart and prayers today too.  There are different ways to mourn lost babies and the lost hope of babies - whether it's an empty nursery, another negative pregnancy test or a ring-less finger.

To our sweet Baby R - We miss you so much and think of you daily! You will always be our first little love. We take comfort in knowing that you are in a place with no more tears. Like King David said about his lost son, you cannot come to us, but one day, dear child, we will come to you. (2 Samuel 12:23) Oh, and guess what? You have a sister!

Finally, I just wanted to post this article by Gospel Coalition- the best article I have read about miscarriage - probably because it points the reader to the Gospel, which is the only real comfort in life. I wanted to share a few excerpts today because it is far more encouraging than anything I could ever say.

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbirth,” God said to Eve as he delivered her specific punishment, and again, “In pain you shall bring forth children” (Gen. 3:16). How personally this aspect of the curse is felt by those, like myself, who’ve lost babies in the womb. For us, the pain God decreed for the female sex isn’t confined to the terrifying yet passing moments of childbirth—later compensated with the blessing of a baby to love and cherish. No, for us the physical pain of childbearing is followed only by the aching horrors of a cradle that will never be filled. In the case of miscarriage, the curse inherited from Eve robs women of the fruit of the womb entirely.
And yet this particular manifestation of the curse is only a small portion of the suffering humanity experiences as a result of Adam and Eve’s sin. After addressing Eve, God turned to Adam and explained that their bodies would now begin to decay, eventually returning to the dust from which they came rather than living in unhindered fellowship with their Creator forever.
Since that day, death has been the enemy of every single person to walk this earth. Pain and suffering are common experiences for each of us, as our bodies groan under the devastating effects of the fall. This is why the apostle Paul said our bodies are “wasting away” (2 Cor. 4:16) and awaiting their coming redemption (Rom. 8:23). Though the worst consequence of the fall was certainly spiritual death (outside of salvation in Christ), there were also painful and fatal implications for our physical bodies.
Every human’s DNA has been compromised as a result of sin—our material bodies are broken at a foundational level. Not even the smallest, most helpless of our race—those yet to be born—are immune from the pull of death’s cold and unmerciful grip.
When a woman experiences a miscarriage, then, she isn’t simply suffering a random “pregnancy loss.” She’s experiencing, in stark reality, the extreme depths of our fallenness as a human race. She’s partaking bitterly of the inheritance purchased for us by our first parents; she’s experiencing the horrid wages of sin, which is death (Rom. 6:23).
But sin and death and loss isn't the end of the story.....

For we know that in that same garden where Adam and Eve received the curse that led to the existence of tragedies like miscarriage, they also received a promise. It was the promise of a Serpent-Crusher. God, being rich in mercy and abounding in steadfast love, didn’t leave humanity without hope on that terrible day. He assured Adam and Eve that a man would be born into their world who would defeat the snake and reverse the curse (Gen. 3:15). He would be the second and better Adam—living in perfect obedience where the first had not, and then dying a death he wouldn’t deserve. He would be the perfect substitute for fallen men and women. He would bring life where once there was only death (1 Cor. 15:45).

By the power of God the Spirit, Mary’s womb bore the God the Son. He entered this world on a mission to save sinners and to conquer death. And in everything he succeeded.

And, finally....

There is hope for the woman who has miscarried since a baby was given to her more than 2,000 years ago. He lived for her, he died for her, and he will return for her. And on that final day he “will wipe away every tear from [her] eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things [will] have passed away” (Rev. 21:4).

So, on October 15th, we can have hope, because we do have a Savior that will overcome pain and loss! So light a candle tonight and remember your baby or the babies that other have lost - and know that we serve a King who has CONQUERED death!!


  1. I want my causes to be Jesus and people. I just love that!!

    1. Thank you! I mean, obviously this manifests itself in "causes" - racial equality, pro life, etc. But, I want my focus to be on the people not my idea of what's right.

      Hope you and little BB are doing well!