Confessions of a Newlywed Cook: Sometimes we eat hot dogs for dinner

It's so easy to post recipes of great meals on facebook or your blog ---or share pictures of your perfectly put together outfits -- or show pictures of your house when its dolled up for the holidays or a party, but the truth is life is rarely as perfect as we like to paint it to be, right? Sometimes the house is messy, you're wearing sweats and dinner is burned!

I've posted successful recipes I've tried, but I didn't post a picture of my recipe that flopped so badly that Dave and I had to cook a frozen pizza instead.  I didn't post the story about how I had to come up with a new recipe because I misread the expiration date and my chicken had gone bad!

You see, the reality is: Sometimes Dave and I eat hot dogs for dinner. Not some kitchy interpretation of simple American foods, not some fancy gourmet version with organic homemade chili and cheese I churned myself...actual 8 dogs in a pack, simple ballpark franks that you can buy in the grocery store -- and the worst part is, we don't have a grill (or a patio...) so we don't even grill the dogs. It's just microwaved franks on processed buns with a side of chips and carrot sticks, etc. FANCY COOKING right?

(side note: what's the nasty food that you like? Everyone has atleast one nasty food item. I know hot dogs are gross, but I don't care, I still like them!Lucky for me, Dave likes hotdogs too)

Oh, how I wish that almost every night was a homemade dinner set on a pretty table with lovely dishes and fresh flowers. I'm afraid I spoiled Dave a bit at first by cooking nightly and having everything ready when he got home from work. But, now we are both working and Dave gets home about 30 minutes before I do....so things are a bit different these days....

We still cook most of our meals (cheaper!)....the only exceptions being one meal out on the weekends and Tuesday night when we go straight to small group from work. On  small group nights, I either pack us each an extra sandwich in our lunchboxes OR we pick up subway, burgers, etc.

Since we eat most meals at home, I do prefer for them to be tasty and a little fancier than simple sandwiches!! (especially since now we get to eat at a table!!) I also probably have a little bit of that newlywed "try so hard to be domestic" mentality. But sweet Dave was actually the one who reminded me that not all meals had to be homemade, that we were both working and that some nights, simple grilled cheese will do just fine!! And that took the pressure off. But even so, I try to actually cook us real meals most of the time. If we don't get in the habit now, then how will we be ready for able to cook warm meals for kids one day?

Cooking dinner most evenings is something I have far from mastered. A huge part of our problem has been timing. I get home at 6:30. Those first few nights that we were both working, I believe we ate dinner at 8:30 because I had to get home, figure out what was for dinner and cook. Now we have a bit of a schedule that really works for us. I'm offering my few pieces of advice for working women (to take with a grain of salt...):

1. Plan ahead. I generally know what meals we are going to eat for the next week or two. I don't always know which night we will cook, but I know what we are cooking. Having a flexible plan is good....if I forget to defrost the chicken or we run out of an ingredient, we can always fall back on something else! Planning ahead is good for a two different reasons: purchasing the ingrediants and cooking ahead! (On a different note, planning ahead saves money - because you can double up ingredients for more than one recipe and because you won't be tempted to go out to eat!)

2. Purchase all your ingrediants ahead of time. Occasionally I have to stop by the store on the way home from work to pick up more milk or bread, etc, but most of the time we have what we need! If I have to run to the store to pick up a bunch of ingredients, then I am more likely to say, "forget this!" and pick up dinner or make a sandwich.

3. Cook ahead. I use almost every other weekend as a time to cook ahead and freeze -- chili, enchiladas, baked spaghettis, even breakfast burritos! Its a lot of work for a few hours, but then we have frozen meals ready to eat! So, on a busy day, I can let the dish defrost then cook when I get home. Sometimes I just cook one night ahead...last week I made potato soup while watching Monday night TV and put it in the fridge for Tuesday. All we had to do was reheat it on the stove, make some grilled cheeses and tada, dinner is served!

4. Prepare ahead. LIKWISE, I do prep work ahead of time. If we are going to do quesadillas, I may have already cooked the meat and stored it in the fridge. If we are going to bake chicken, I may have it marinating to put in the oven as soon as I get home.

5. Get some help. Dave gets home 30 minutes (atleast) before I do. If prep work is done, I email or text Dave and tell him to bake the marinated chicken or reheat the casserole for x minutes at x temperature. If prep work needs to be done, I will email him instructions to preheat the oven and start peeling potatos or cutting chicken. In our family, it works better if I plan the meals (I am a planner type and Dave is well, not), but Dave is more than willing to help so long as I make it clear! Afterall, he does not want to wait and eat at 8:30.

6. FREEZER MEALS AND CROCKPOT. I already mentioned cooking ahead and freezing, but really, freezer meals and crockpot meals are your friends, busy woman. Honestly, crockpots kindof scare me, so I have done more freezing. But last month, a friend sent me tons of crockpot recipes so I am going to overcome my fear of leaving something running all day (not really scared of burning my house down, just scared of burning the meal if I end up getting home later than planned...) and join the rest of the 21st century by using my crockpot more often.

7. Freeze extras. I almost always make the full recipe and split it into 2-3 dishes for Dave and I to eat one and freeze the rest. The half we aren't going to eat go into baking dishes/tuppeware and into the freezer! Nothing better than coming home to defrosted chili that only has to be reheated on the stove!

8. Dave does the dishes! This is my favorite part of being the main cook in our family. I do about 95 percent of the cooking, lunch packing, meal planning, grocery shopping...and Dave does a good portion of the dishes. My night is busy from the moment I get home until dinner is served, but after that, I can relax while the dishes are done by someone else! Dave prefers I do the cooking and because I do, he willingly cleans up! This makes weekend freezer sessions and hurried weeknight dinner preparation so much better to know that he's got the weeknight dishes covered!

9. Use SIMPLE recipes on weekdays. Do you want to try that fancy gourmet dinner recipe you saw in Southern Living that has 1000 ingredientsand almost as many steps? Great, do it on the weekend. A good warm meal doesn't have to be complicated to be delicious and filling. We are able to cook every night because the recipes aren't too detailed...just a few ingredients, just a few steps. If it is more complicated, I try to cook it on a weekend or atleast PREP ahead of time.

(SERIOUSLY, some of the recipes we use are really simple, like REALLY SIMPLE...but delicious! I plan on posting our "go to" simple meals tomorrow!!)

10. Have a few simple "back up" dinner options on hand. There will be nights when you get home late, nights when the recipe fails, nights when you forget you have a meeting and have to call home and say "fend for yourself" and even a couple nights a month with you just don't feel like cooking. Dave and I almost always have some fall back meal plans. We always have a frozen pizza in the fridge for emergency. We keep soup and grilled cheese makings on hand. I always have the ingredients for some type of quesadilla. And, like I admitted early, I usually have hot dogs in the fridge :)

Check back tomorrow for our favorite "go to" simple meals!!

Lower-Carb Cream Cheese Chicken Enchiladas

Last night, Dave's friend came over and I made Cream Cheese Chicken Enchiladas -- which were pretty good if I do say so!! I researched and combined a few different recipes to come up with a recipe that works for our family....not too many veggies, but not too fattening. I used low carb low cal tortillas which made the dish a bit healthier.

SIDE NOTE: I'm not returning to strictly low carb eating like I did most of last year, but I thought coming up with some lower carb meal options would be a good healthy move for us...We use tortillas/wraps A LOT --for breakfast burritos (that I premake and stick in the freezer), quesadillas, tacos, enchiladas and sandwich wraps.  A switch to low carb tortillas is so simple and just makes the dishes a bit healthier....and at Trader Joes, the LC wraps are only slightly more expensive than the regular wraps.

 

Ingredients

5 oz. reduced fat cream cheese, softened

1/4 cup light sour cream

10 oz can of enchilada sauce

1.5 (or 2) cups of shredded taco cheese

2 cups of shredded chicken

1 cup of black beans (or 1 cup of corn)

1/2 tsp chili powder

1/4 tsp cumin

Salt and Pepper

4 scallions, thinly sliced

8-9 whole wheat tortillas (**I used the low carb Trader Joe's brand which is only 45 calories and 4 net carbs)

4 oz can of diced green chilis (optional)

Directions

1.Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Spray a 9×13 dish with cooking spray. (If you are using smaller low carb tortillas, you can use a smaller dish -- I fit mine into a 10.5 x 7 inch dish)

2.In the bowl of your mixer cream together the cream cheese, sour cream, and 1/2 of the enchilada sauce. Stir in 1 cup of cheese.

3.In a second bowl toss together the chicken, black beans, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper, green chilies (optional), and half of the scallions. Add the chicken mixture to the cheese mixture and combine well.

4.Spread about half of the remaining enchilada sauce in the bottom of the baking dish.

5.Spoon the filling into each tortilla, roll the tortilla up, and place in the baking dish with the seam down. Pour the remaining enchilada sauce over the top of the filled tortillas and sprinkle with the remaining cheese. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until hot and bubbly. Sprinkle with the remaining scallions and serve.

 I swiped this pic on the internet (thanks google) because I didn't take a picture of my enchiladas (and I subbed out 1/4 cup of diced yellow onions for green because that's all I had) --- but this is what the dish looks like when done, yummy! Also, in case you were curious, the yellow onions turned out fine -- I only put the yellow onions in the dish, not on top of it - and it worked!

Nutritional Information

Based on 9 enchiladas (I was able to make 9 enchilladas out of my mix) Each enchilada has:

 - 260 calories

 - 15 grams of fat

 - 16 net carbs

Based on 8 enchiladas:

 - 287 calories

 - 17 grams of fat

 - 17 net carbs

I like meals like enchiladas that are easilly portioned. There's no guessing about serving size or how many calories you have eaten!  I can eat one enchilada with a salad and David can eat two and we can separate the remaining enchiladas into tupperware and already have lunch packed!

Thankfulness in ALL circumstances (even the hard ones!)

I am thankful. So so thankful.

I truly have so much to be thankful for this year. There are still some challenges - adjusting to a new city, trying to make friends, missing my family and friends in Mississippi, YET this year, more than any other year I can remember, has been a year of blessing, joy, redemption and restoration. Not only have I been blessed, but I have been blessed after waiting! I have received good things from the Father and also was able to witness his faithfulness in answering prayers.

I have a sweet godly loving husband. I have an amazing family and great friends. The Lord provided housing and jobs here in DC. I have a sister and brother in law and the world's cutest nephew who live near by, so there aren't too many lonely weeks in between family visits. I married into a great new family whom I love. I am living in one of my favorite cities! After what seemed like a few rough years for my family, everyone is happy and healthy and doing well at the moment.

And, by the grace of God, I've had many seasons of thanksgiving that have come easilly -- full of obvious blessings and lots of gratefulness.

But I've had plenty of years where it was a lot harder to make that yearly "thankful" list. Sure, I could make a list of the ways that the Lord had provided-- shelter, food, education, family-- the Lord has always cared for and provided in some way!! BUT it felt that many circumstances in my life were painful and many of the doors I longed to be opened were closed. There were thanksgivings where my family was facing hardships and trials that seemed daunting. There were holidays with breakups, law finals, unhappy job situations, loneliness.

And, I know this isn't unique to me. If you are human and live long enough, there wil likely be rough years where your heart fights to be grateful despite discouraging and challenging circumstances. There will be years when your many blessings are overshadowed by marriage problems, singleness, sickness, times of waiting, economic loss, job struggles, parenting stress and the list goes on an on.

Even in rough times, we are told to be thankful in all circumstances (See 1 Thessalonians 5:18) But, it's easy to think that grattitude and thankfulness always looks the same. As a chipper blissful newlywed bursting with praise and gratefulness for answered prayers and God's provision, my thankfulness is probably going to look differently than someone trudging through the midst of their hardest life battle yet. And as someone who has been the latter before, instead of the former, let me encourage you not to assign a "one size fits all" mentality to how one should be thankful. Your friend may be less vocal and chipper about her gratitude, but may be working twice as hard as you are to be thankful. Nothing is more frustrating than striving to be thankful and being made to feel that your version of "thankfulness" isn't correct.

Here are some things I have learned about thankfulness in all circumstances:

***keep in mind, I am not a biblical scholar, these are just my own personal observations

(1) Thankfulness during tough times takes work and choice and therefore, (2) thankfulness during rough seasons may look differently than normal joyful gratitude and praise.

The holidays during my first year of law school were rough....still recovering from a broken engagement, surviving a new place and new stresses and the hardest year of law school and that first round of finals! I can remember a few happy moments -- family, friends, church, etc. But I also remember being so emotionally exhausted and trying to cope with the fact that just a year before, my holidays were so joyful and the new year was full of promise and blessing.

Being thankful was hard and it took choice. And I didn't always make that choice....and when I did, it didn't even always look like thankfulness in a traditional sense. I can remember giving myself a certain amount of time to "nap" on both Thanksgiving and Christmas day during my first year of law school -- which wasn't really a time of sleeping, but a time of rest away from other people -- where I was able to mourn, recover and pray. My prayers included not anly prayers of thanks, but a prayer that the Lord could help me be thankful. I didn't feel like being thankful. When I was thankful (and as I said, I wasn't always thankful), it was an act of obedience and trust.

Being thankful when life is hard looks different than it does it full happy times. Thankfulness when life is hard isn't all smiles and joyfulness and beaming about how your cup runneth over. It's singing praise songs through tears. Its thanking God and listing blessings even when you don't feel thankful. It's trusting that God will reveal His goodness to you - both through His provisions and through His comfort.

(3) Thankfulness during tough times requires a literal counting (and enjoying) of blessings.

Literally, count your blessings. Even those in the worst of circumstances have some blessings. When I was in law school, I celebrated the fact that over the holidays, my mother would barely make me do anything during my first week home over the break. Seriously, Law school is so tough and I was so fragile that she seemed to let me enjoy most of my two weeks off. As a single, I tried to celebrate the blessing of free time and travel, volunteer, form amazing friendships.

Make a list of just a few things you are grateful for -- and not only thank God, but enjoy those blessings as well because we are suppsoed to enjoy His gifts! You may not have the blessings you want, but you do likely have some blessings, make a list and write it down if you need to...and when you feel discouraged, remind yourself of those few blessings -- and enjoy those blessings!

(4) Thankfulness in tough times focuses on God's character, not His answers.

As I stated above, I am super thankful right now -- for my hubby, starting our life together, etc. It's one of those times where my cup is overflowing! I truly am thankful that the Lord is faithful and good, but honestly, I am also thankful for the provisions. Nothing is wrong with thankfulness for God's gifts because we should be thankful, but one thing I noticed during rough times was that I tended to be thankful for attributes of God more than gifts from God.

I was thankful that God was a comforter. I was thankful that God was faithful. I was thankful that God was a redeemer and restorer. I was thankful that God was in control.

Trust me, I love His gifts, but I am grateful He used rough times to teach me (painfully teach me which required constantly reteaching stubborn ole me) the blessings of who God is! That is something that those who are struggling know in a more intimate real way than other people do. Learning thankfulness when life sucks reminds us of God's good, kind, gracious, loving character. We learn that his answers or witholdings may be hard, but his character is good. And for that, we can be thankful!!

(5) Thankfulness during tough times requires remembering God's previous provisions and faithfulness.

If you are going through hard times at the moment and finding it difficult to be thankful, remember God's past graciousness to you. This becomes a bit easier the older you get. As I age (gracefully, I hope!), I have more years in my past than I used to. I have more to look back on and see the Lord's provision and blessings. I also can see how He sustained me through dark times and restored brokeness.

If life is tough at the moment, look back -- at your own life and the lives of other believers! God has brought you through rough waters before - and He will bring you through rough waters again. God has answered in the past and he can and will answer again. Being thankful for God's past work and presence helps cultivate a current sense of thanfulness in the present.

(6) Thankfulness during difficult times requires a focus on restoration and redemption.

As you struggle to be thankful now amidst broken painful circumstances, it may be hard to see that you could ever be thankful for those circumstances. The good news is that even the most awful situtations can be restored and redeemed by the Savior. Be thankful for the fact that you serve a Lord who can salvage your situation and who will restore your brokeness. As I stated above, a look to the past will remind us that the Lord doesn't leave us where we currently are, He restores and salvages and heals. He brings beauty for ashes. As you pray for that restoration, thank God for what He will do to bring healing, growth, opportunity and restoration from your struggles.

(7) Thankfulness when life is painful is a strong witness to others and can point them to the gospel.

It's as simple as this. We live in a fallen painful world with sickness, heartbreak, trials and sin. We hurt others and they hurt us. We suffer from our sins and choices and sometimes, we suffer simply because we are citizens of this world. Our Savior loved us so much that He sufffered so we could live eternally with Him. That is something to rejoice and be thankful in. No matter what pain we face or will face, we are not stuck on this earth forever. We have a home to go to where all sad things will become untrue.

When we choose thankfulness despite our circumstances, even if its hard and fought for, we are a witness to others. Others may wonder how we are thankful in rough situations. We will have the opportunity to speak of the hope we have in the gospel and of a Father who is good in bad circumstances.

I've been there. I've had to fight for thankfulness when life wasn't so easy. I've also had many happy years where life was so full. Although in many ways, I much more enjoy the easier years where thanks fulls off my toungue easilly (who wouldn't?), there is so much sweetness and blessing that comes through painful thanksgiving. Obedience and thankfulness reaps blessing and hope, I am convinced....and the relationship growth with your Savior during these times cannot be duplicated.

So, I'm thankful today -- thankful for my many many blessings, thankful that the Lord that is faithful and restores, thankful for growth through tough times and yes, even thankful for the years that its hard to be thankful!

Celebrating the Reformation

There are a ton of articles floating around the internet this week about why Christians should celebrate Halloween or why Christians shouldn't celebrate Halloween. I'm not going to argue for or against Halloween-- it's a personal decision and I see both sides. But, like many many other parenting decisions, I think its a gray area that two different people who both love Jesus can come to two different conclusions. I don't want to join the Halloween debate, it's not a fight I want to have, but I do want to share with you about another important holiday -- Reformation Day.

Full disclosure: I grew up in a home that was not allowed to celebrate Halloween. Instead we celebrated "Reformation Day" We went to Reformation festival with games and candy and a costume contest. We dressed up as bible characters and reformation characters and the games were "reformation or bible themed" (imagine "pin the 95 thesis to the door" - yep, can't make this stuff up) One year my family was the 6 days of creation -- I was the day God created the birds. We one the costume contest. I kid you not. I wish I had pictures to show you....

Not celebrating Halloween was fine. I still enjoyed fall traditions like pumpkin patches and candy and fall festivals. Despite teasing my parents with how bad my childhood was due to no Halloween, I truly am not traumatized in any way from lack of Halloween. But I did miss it....I wanted to dress up like a princess, not a bible character (bible characters don't wear pretty clothes....). I wanted to go door to door with friends. I wanted to go to halloween parties and carve pumpkins. It wasn't an essential part of my childhood, but it would have been a fun "extra" Luckilly, beginning mid elementary, we had church community and Reformation celebrations did fill the void of no celebrations.

Another full disclosure: I started celebrating halloween as soon as I was in college. I started going to costume parties, bought candy for dorm trick or treaters, carved pumpkins, etc. And although I'm not making any major parenting decisions right now since I don't have kids (no cart before the horse!) - but I will most likely let me kids celebrate some form of halloween -- no witches or zombies, but good wholesome superheros, firemen, cute animals and princesses!! Maybe they get to go trick or treating or maybe they just get to wear their non-biblical attire to the church Reformation festival. (No offense to biblical characters, but their outfits don't include pink and sequins and all things girly!) There is no denying that some aspects of Halloween are downright evil (and some parts of secular Christmas are evil too) -- but I think there is a way we can celebrate with pumpkins and costumes and not witches and darkness.

Although I differ from my parents on my decision to celebrate Halloween, one thing I would not change about my childhood and will not change for my children is the explination and celebration of the Reformation every fall. As a Christian, and particularly as a protestant, the Reformation is essential in the life and teachings of the church. It's an area of our history that many believers don't learn much about until their high school history classes, but I received lessons from the church and my parents beginning in elementary school. This explination and celebration was essential to my understanding of the gospel at a young age. Christ alone. Faith alone. Neither good works nor others could grant you salvation. What a freeing concept -- not an excuse for sin, but a comfort that our sin will not determine our eternal fate, that despite being so horribly wicked and evil, I am loved more than I could ever imagine and my sins have been paid for....not be works, not by indulgencies (or any modern day comparisons), but by the death and ressurection of my Savior.  I think many children don't completely understand grace when they are young, nor do they understand the importance of keeping the church safe from false doctrine.  I learned both concepts early on - in part- from my childhood celebrations of the Reformation.

We learned about Luther, his greivances, his 95 theses, etc. We also learned the 5 solae that summarized the big beliefs of the reformation:

(1) Sola scriptura (scripture alone)

(2) sola fide (faith alone)

(3) Sola gratia (grace alone)

(4) solus Christus (Christ alone)

(5) soli deo gloria (Glory to God alone)

These are biblical concepts, not newly created by Luther or other reformers, but highlighted during the Reformation and through our teaching of the Reformation. It is important to familiarize and refamiliarize ourselves with truth like the 5 solaes so that we are prepared to respond in courage and truthfulness when faced with false teaching. Since the church is made up of sinners like you and I, there will constantly be incorrect teachings and the church should always be reforming itself, to stay true to the gospel.

So, as fun as dressing up and candy corn and pumpkins can be, as a Christian, I want Reformation to always be a part of our family fall celebrations and more importantly, I want it to be the focus. Growing up, I celebrated Christmas - with gifts and good food, but this only came after a month of advent, Christmas communion, the Christmas story being read, etc. Certainly we can celebrate Halloween in the same way -- as a fun additive to a very important time of year. So, although I don't think it's wrong for Christians to celebrate Halloween, I do think we are missing out if we fail to also celebrate the Reformation.

I am thankful for Luther and the other reformers. I am thankful that they bravely stood for what was true. I pray that we also have the knowledge to give an account for what we believe and the courage to do so.

"Unless I am convinced by Scripture and by plain reason ...in those Scriptures that I have presented, for my conscience is captive to the Word of God, I cannot and I will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand; I can do no other. God help me. Amen.” - Martin Luther

Yeah, even calvinists have a sense of humor....

NOTE: This is in no way a slam on the Catholic church who later reformed themselves. The Catholic church is older than most modern day protestant churches and it makes complete sense that after so many years of both good and bad teachings, there would be a need for reformation just like many different denominations need today. I also am in no way suggesting that Catholics are not Christians while Protestants are. I know many Catholics who love and serve the same Jesus I do and many protestants who don't. That being said, I am very very presbyterian and obviously do not agree with Catholicism - otherwise I would be Catholic. I do believe a Reformation was needed to correct some wrongs in the church (namely the selling or indulgences and any other implication that heaven was reached by works and not grace) and I do believe its a crucial part of church history. However, my post was only meant to express my belief that Reformation should be celebrated alongside Halloween. It is also a post expressing thankfulness for Martin Luther and his influence on the modern day protestant churches-- and ultimately, thankfulness for a Lord that saves based on the work of his son, not my works.

I love Monday Nights

I love Monday Nights.

I know, I am crazy. Monday is such a awful day of the week and Monday evening is such a ordinary boring evening of the week to love ....but I can't help it, I love this basic boring weeknight.

Monday is no one's favorire day - it's always exhausting and hectic after a relaxing weekend. You can literally see people moping to the metro, dragging their feet, hoping that the weekend hasn't really ended. And no day goes by more slowly than a Monday. The seconds tick by slowly, the tasks seem mundane and I feel a strong urge to nap by 2 pm.

And, thats why I love Monday nights. It's a welcome reprieve from that first day back at work, probably the weeknight I look forward to coming home the most. And I suspect most people feel as excited for the day to be over as I do as they wearilly hurry home. Everyone is longing for an easy night in with a glass of wine, warm dinner and maybe an early bedtime!

On top of being the best weeknight, I love that it's almost always a weeknight in for Dave and me. Rarely do we have meetings or Bible studies or obligations on Monday nights.....just an easy dinner of homemade pizza or a frozen casserole, a couple of our favorite TV shows, reading and maybe finishing up a few chores.

And then, after dinner and a bit of tidying up, we both end up sitting in the living room, one on the couch, one on the chair -watching our shows while Dave researches nerdy (I mean, cool) architecture websites and I play on pinterest. We chat a bit about the day, but we are mostly quiet. After all, we had the whole weekend together to chat and play - and after a long Monday, it's perfect to just sit together and be quiet. I know that when we are younger, everyone (myself included) thinks that LOVE is connecting so much that you stay have long late night chats and great conversations, but I think as we get older, we realized that sometimes its the opposite-- sometimes LOVE is connecting so much that you don't have to talk and maybe don't even have to touch because you just find comfort from quietly sitting there together. That's how I feel on Monday nights with Dave-- free to vent, free to chat, but mostly free to be quiet and relax.

But, after awhile, we always end up on the same couch, snuggled up quietly, finishing our shows -- usually one person falls asleep and the other one has to wake him/her up to head to bed.

A perfectly boring yet comforting end to the most horrible weekday. It seems so boring- and uneventful- but I love it.

It's my belief that these boring moments are the ones singles wish for the most. Before I was married, I had wonderful weekends with friends and great busy weeknights, but I would have loved to have someone to do nothing with on an average boring night. Lazy Monday evenings make me extremely grateful for a sweet husband and a home to relax in. That's why Monday night with Dave is fast becoming my favorite night of the work week!!

Making a Home

Last night we picked up a very simple used ikea table and chairs that we bought for $40 via craigslist. We plan to eventually IKEA HACK the table and add hairpin legs and a nice stain JUST LIKE THIS GIRL DID. Maybe I have eaten dinner in my lap a few too many times or maybe having something sitting in the middle of the dining room instead of an empty space, but the idea of having an actual (albeit only hand me down ikea) table made me feel a little more at home.

 Our new (used) table....

Our hope is to transform our table just like this...

And, it's not just the table, it's the memories we will make and the events that will take place at the table....Wine and cake for birthdays,saturday morning pancakes, thanksgiving with my sister, brother in law and nephew. Even the chore of taking the table apart to sand, stain and add new legs seems more like an important memory to make as we put together our home.

And, so, of course, I was a cheeseball and hugged Dave and jokingly (not too jokingly) said,"Look Sweetie, we are making our little home"--and of course he responded by humoring me and saying," yes we are babe" (while simultaneously rolling his eyes -- if not outwardly rolling his eyes, he was rolling his eyes on the inside, but as I said, he kindly humored me!)

It got me thinking about how important it is to make a home - not just live in a house. We spent the first month of marriage without our stuff (and a grand 2 months without furniture, etc for Dave) and then spent a couple weeks unpacking and have slowly been purchasing additional furniture and hanging pictures and arranging and rearranging furniture (seriously, we live in 650 square feet max, how many ways can we "arrange" furniture??) And with each step towards making our house more "homey", I have felt more at home.

Humans are funny but unique creatures when it comes to living arrangements. All we tecnichally need is enough space, warmth, cover and a few practical furnishings. YET we long for so much more than functionality, we long for beauty. And even more importantly,we long for comfort and a sense of self in our surroundings. We could easilly get by with just 4 walls, a fireplace or heater and a few pieces of practical furniture, but we all want home to be more.

Homes tell you so much about the people living in them. I love clean lines and simplicity which is evident by my midcenturity pieces of furniture (slowly collected over the years). Dave loves modern touches. I love for spaces to feel warm and welcoming which is displayed through cheerful oranges, blues and greens in my living room. Dave loves to hunt and you can easilly see that in the framed camo pictures and gray and white deerhead pillow on our bed. Neither of us care for frilly or dainty which is why you see practically no floral prints or lacy decor in our house. We love our home state, Mississippi, which is why so much of our artwork is prints and paintings of Mississippi or from Mississippi. We don't have much money at the moment which is why there are walmart bookcases and craigslist finds mixed in with our leather couches, modern lamps and authentic midcentury pieces. If you combine our two personalities, they are so readilly apparent in our decor -- we are young, simple, warm, modern southern loving people. We aren't very fancy or wealthy, but we are welcoming (atleast I hope we always are welcoming) I truly think our home is starting to come together in a way that gives off that impression.


I love visiting people homes - small or large -- and seeing their personalities reflected through the small touches.  Sometimes the house looks exactly like I would picture it, and sometimes I am surprised and learn so much about them! (and I promise, for our friends and family far away, as our apartment is finally coming together, I will eventually post a blog picture tour and maybe you will see small touches of us in our home!!)

So, I will smile- with every piece of furniture we purchase, every picture we hang and every pillow we carefully place on the couch. DC is new, marriage is new-- and each is beginning to feel more and more like home to us -- imperfect but happy, with parts of both of us mixed in :)

In Defense of Stay at Home Mothers

Last week, I wrote a post defending working moms - in response to other people's harsh words towards women that parent and work outside the home. In that post, I admitted that I wasn't pro working moms or pro SAHM's, just very pro mothers....so today I will be singing the praise of SAHM's because it's  tough to be a SAHM! (If you need to ask anyone about the difficulties of SAHM's, talk to my mom -- my 3 siblings and I are quite "spicy" and being home with us daily was no easy task!)

Some thoughts in defense of SAHM's:

(1) SAHM's get very few breaks from kids. I realize that many working moms (and dads) feel they get very few breaks - with full work days plus time at home, there may be few nonbusy moments!! But when life is busy at work, I (not a parent) can close my door or put my earphones in- and so can most other working people. SAHM's get lots of quality time with their kids -- but we all know that kids aren't always happy and fun. There are tantrums, whining, the question "WHY?" 1000 times a day, etc - and SAHM's can't just close the door like those at work can. Working hard at all that needs to be done at home is difficult enough --- add a fussy two year old to the mix and you have a stressful day!

(2) SAHM's often sacrifice a career and other goals. Many moms who stay at home with their children once worked in offices, hospitals,schools, law firms, etc. Many have degrees, maybe multiple degrees. Several women developed a skill set from working for several years pre-babies. And these women gave that up for the time being because that's what they feel is the best option for their growing families. Even though I fully believe that you use your degrees and skills in a different way as a SAHM, the fact remains that sacrifice was made. Even if a woman loves being a SAHM and believes that its what is best for her family, giving up a career she worked so long to obtain is a difficult decision.

(3) SAHM's receive a lot of criticism too. I mentioned in my previous post that working moms receive judgment and criticism....this sad fact is true of SAHMs as well. Many people downplay a SAHM's responsibilities, assume these women don't have goals or ambition, or believe that they sit at home watching TV all day. Not only do you get judged by some for staying at home, you get judged by some for what you do while staying at home - allowing kids to watch tv, spending a rainy morning in pjs, not always having gourmet meals, etc. The reality is, that in a "working" world, I rarely have to justify what I do during the day to anyone other than my boss. I may have to justify my career choice and one day I may have to justify working while I have kids, etc, but I don't have to justify what I do during a work day.

(4) Many SAHM's feel called to stay at home because they believe it is best for their family and (5) Many women make sacrifices financially to live out this calling. I mentioned this in my post about working moms and my sentiment is the same when applied to SAHMs. If someone feels that this is what the Lord called them to do, who am I to judge that? I have great respect for anyone that is choosing to obey God in their actions - particularly when it's at a cost to them. Losing a second income can be financially difficult for a family and requires careful budgeting and smaller expectations --- it's no easy feat, so it's incredibly sacrificial that women who feel called to stay home do!

(6) Being a SAHM can be lonely. Staying at home involves a lot of interaction, but very little adult interaction. Certainly there are some areas of the country where many many women stay at home -- and there are play groups, bible studies, etc where women meet during the day. This is great, but in some cities, staying at home is not the norm and its much harder to meet other SAHMs and have daily interaction. My two months as a SAHW (Stay at Home Wife) made me incredibly lonely.  I couldn't even try to connect with SAHM's because there aren't very many in this area. This made me keenly aware that many women stay at home to raise children even if it may cut them off from the social world!

I've said this before so I will avoid being repetitive - but being a mom, no matter what, is a full time job - and each mother has her own unique challenges. We, as women, are shooting ourselves in the foot if we can't support and appreciate eachother and the hard work it takes to be a good mother! It's a temptation to throw our identity into our work and relationships (and as a result judge ourselves and others too harshly) - whether that be working as a SAHM or working in an office, whether single, dating, married, kids or not kids, but in reality, our identity should rest in Christ and Christ alone.

Can you be a SAHM that glorifies the Lord and is doing whats best for your family? YES!!! Can you work outside the home and glorify the Lord and do whats best for your family? Absolutely! What a comfort that we can all differ from eachother and still glorify the Lord in our actions!