Friday, October 4, 2013

Learnig Flexibility

I'm not the most flexible person. I like schedules. I like group outings and date nights and meetings written down in my lovely Lily Pulitzer planner. I like knowing what I will do on Friday evening long before Friday hits. I love lists and I love crossing things off. I like handling some of these "to-do's" along the way so I don't feel overwhelmed later on (I have started my Christmas present list for this very reason, no need to be buying 15 gifts the week before I go home!). I look up the menu of  a restaurant online before I go.

This is quite funny because the rest of my life is not super organized.  We keep the dishes washed and the living room fairly tidied up, but I don’t have a color coordinated closet and perfectly organized pantry with neat rows of canned goods and spices. I think I just like plans because I gain such excitement from the waiting (Ironic huh, since I used to have a blog where I openly discussed how waiting could be, well…annoying!) BUT SERIOUSLY, for me, half of the excitement of a vacation is the planning…looking up restaurants and tourist sites, making reservations.  I like to count down to something – be it a holiday, vacation or Friday night plans.  I like structure and think that most of the time, having a plan means you end up doing something – rather than wasting most of your weekend because you had no plans to go out to dinner or clean or watch a movie.  Sometimes you gain so much more from life because you plan.

Dave is quite the opposite…and it’s so good for me, and actually so good for us that we are different.  He goes with the flow much more than I do and is perfectly content with letting plans come to him, rather than making plans.  He’s always fearful that I will overbook myself with too many obligations.  He’s the type of person who doesn’t understand why you would make reservations ahead of time or discuss Friday plans on Tuesday.

But, we are slowly influencing each other. Dave asked me on Tuesday what we wanted to do this weekend.  TUESDAY!!! That’s HUGE for him.  He later informed me that we needed to start research things to do in Philly (a day trip we are taking later this month) WHAT? PLANS FOR A TRIP??? And then I willingly cancelled our plans (outdoor movie/drive in movie at Union Market) when we got last minute invitations for Friday Drinks on a Rooftop Bar. (HOW FLEXIBLE OF ME!!) It's perfect weather for outdoor drinks and the bar is near our home....How do you pass that up? Sometimes going with the flow is best.

I don’t want to miss out on life because I never have a plan or agenda.  I don’t want to make every weekend a lazy one because there was no prior discussion on what we should do.  BUT I don’t want to miss out on life because I over planned it.  Sometimes plans change.  Sometimes better plans come up. Sometimes you make no plans and end up staying in, enjoying a lazy evening at home.

Hopefully, due to our 2 different personalities, our lives will include many planned vacations, special date nights, celebrated birthdays and holiday traditions, as well as some spotaneous last minute road trips and flexible weekends of relaxing and last minute plans.  It's good to be different :)

I am thankful that my sweet husband is helping me learn to go with the flow a bit more ….
…and maybe, just maybe, I am teaching him that the occasional preplanned evening is wonderful as well.


  1. Totally get that. Ben is like that and I am a planner.

  2. Great post, Katy! I too am a planner but have (painfully at times) developed greater flexibility over the past 10 years. There are great benefits to planning and also to throwing those plans out the window if need be!