Monday, September 30, 2013

Teasing and Mending Fences

One of my favorite things about Dave is something that used to drive me crazy (and sometimes still does, but it mostly makes me smile)

When we've been grumpy with each other, he usually pesters and flirts and tries to be affectionate with me -- all with me resisting - until I finally cave and smile or laugh or hug him back.

You see, Dave is - self admittedly - not always the best apologizer (In fact, the moment I realized I was going to marry him was a couple months into our relationship when he apologized after a big disagreement and told me he wanted to learn how to say he was sorry better for me...but that's an entirely different blog post!)

And, I am - self admittedly - the type of person who needs an apology and recognition of one's wrongs  in order to move on.  

And truthfully, we are just both quite stubborn about our own views at times.... :)

We are both improving on our extremes (no apology v. you must apologize, my way v. your way) but changes take work and TIME.

So, I don't always get my apology expressed exactly the way I want, but I have a husband who doesn't like for there to be a lot of tension between us - and a husband who doesn't want me to be upset at him too long. And, I don't like to stay upset at him. So when we bicker, usually an hour or so later, he's reaching for my hand and trying to make me laugh --- and I cave every time, but I first attempt to resist -- determined to be mad.  However, it takes no time before I am laughing and teasing back.

I'm taking a lesson from Dave -- when I cause tension, I am going to apologize AND try to make him smile. It's hard to stay angry with someone who is making you smile or laugh -- even when you really want to remain angry!

Apologies are nice- but actions are often nicer.  The fact that Dave dislikes that there was a rift made between us and he tries so hard to bridge that gap is precious.  And how fun to mend fences with a little hand holding and flirting :)

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